ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
