bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
