I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
