you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
