Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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