make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
