i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
