Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
