Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
