I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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