you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
