Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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