you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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