Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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