It's Friday. Sex?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
