Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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