Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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