i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
