So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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