I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
