Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
