My sheets look like a crime scene.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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