Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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