i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
