Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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