i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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