Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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