ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Found the puke drawer
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
