omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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