and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
