I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
