Where did you get a picture of my penis
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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