U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
