Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
