They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
