Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
