and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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