So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
