I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
