so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
