Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
