They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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