Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
