I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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