when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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