Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
