The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
