oh god the rape fog is back!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
