genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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