butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
