Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
